Because when there are like ten seconds left in that minute, Luca will receive a long stream of messages. I'm not going to do a 1/10 response because your inbox does not deserve that, but pretend each line is a separate text:]
[Can't believe Sheila is going to get killed one day and frame Luca for her murder.
But for now she is going take a deep breath, force herself not to recreate a scene from The Shining with this twink, and let him have this. Fine, he wins this round.
Haha, just kidding. No, she's going to smear lube and White Claw all over the floor in front of the bathroom door so he eats shit as soon as he walks out. Also, there is now salt in his coffee creamer. Bitch.]
[She lost the battle but is one step closer to winning the war. Because when he steps out of the bathroom, he absolutely eats shit on the floor. The yelp as he falls backwards is quite loud too.]
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timeasmymeasure
monday, week zero.
Date: 2021-02-09 12:13 am (UTC)Luca, will you come out for a second? 🙂 Thanks
[... Does he even have his phone on him? Will he even respond? Mystery.]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-09 04:48 am (UTC)Just a moment, I am almost done.
[He is not almost done. It is a lie.]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-09 11:40 pm (UTC)[Good luck, Luca. She is Counting.]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-10 01:26 am (UTC)He might be going slow on purpose now.]
1/2
Date: 2021-02-10 02:55 am (UTC)That's fine!
Because when there are like ten seconds left in that minute, Luca will receive a long stream of messages. I'm not going to do a 1/10 response because your inbox does not deserve that, but pretend each line is a separate text:]
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
[And then—]
2/2
Date: 2021-02-10 02:57 am (UTC)Oh, Luca?
[In a slightly sing-songy tone of voice. Hey, bitch?]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-10 03:43 am (UTC)His hair is not wet. He's just being a shit.]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-10 07:56 pm (UTC)Sheila raises her voice as to be heard over the hair dryer:]
Really?
no subject
Date: 2021-02-10 11:58 pm (UTC)[Luca absolutely can hear her. And he's going to set the running hair dryer down on the counter as he goes back to combing his hair to perfection.]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-11 09:56 pm (UTC)But for now she is going take a deep breath, force herself not to recreate a scene from The Shining with this twink, and let him have this. Fine, he wins this round.
Haha, just kidding. No, she's going to smear lube and White Claw all over the floor in front of the bathroom door so he eats shit as soon as he walks out. Also, there is now salt in his coffee creamer. Bitch.]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-11 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-12 02:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-12 02:16 pm (UTC)[He's not getting up, just yelling at her from the ground.]
no subject
Date: 2021-02-14 07:42 pm (UTC)[siiiiiiiiiiiippppppssss]