Well yes, everyone has their flaws. But that's the thing of it: you find yourself drawn to a person's good traits, and you learn to live with all of them, flaws included. That's how this whole thing works.
Do you think I would be standing right here, right now, if there wasn't something to you beyond your looks? Because I assure you, there are plenty of attractive men here. And while I know I appear to be shallow at first, I'm not only swayed by looks.
I know you're not shallow, Luca. But my flaws are, well. Pretty big. [ like contract murder big. trying to explain how big of a surprise it's been that people want to stick around once they've got something from him has been difficult here, especially when his reasoning keeps getting shot down like this. ]
... [ ... but, alright then. after a moment he reaches up and hooks a finger into luca's collar, giving him a tug down. ] But you are here, aren't you.
Well, we can match then. Lord knows how messed up I can be.
[Because Luca has a lot of flaws too. A loooot of flaws. Big, glaring flaws that might cause a lot of trouble for him and those around him in the near future. But in the name of being fair, he's not going to bring them up right now. He wants Yuri to think positively, so he'll think positively about himself too.]
[But then he's pulled down, and suddenly the weight of what he's tiptoeing around hits him.
For a moment, he hesitates. That dread, that sinking fear, it's creeping back in. The reservations that have always held him back before, they're whispering in his ear now.
It's safer to hold back, it's better to not stand out. If others have already decided what they want you to do, then it's better to just go along with that, isn't it? After all, it's better to keep your wants buried deep inside of your chest than it is to shout them out and be ignored. Living to the expectations of others means never having to put yourself out there and take that risk.
And in that moment, he hesitates, torn between risk and comfort.]
[And then- perhaps because his heart isn't beating now, so the stress of the situation can't give him a heart attack- he teeters over to one choice.]
I might as well stay here, I think. 'Here' being 'right next to you' specifically, wherever you may travel. I never intended to go back to my world anyway if I had the choice, and it looks like you need frequent reminders of just what kind of man you are.
[He's trying to play it cool, but he's a nervous wreck inside. Which quickly becomes evident because, as usual, he just doesn't shut up.]
I won't take up too many resources, I swear it. I do complain about how uncomfortable things are sometimes, but I'll behave. It wouldn't do good to leave a poor impression on your allies, after all. And your world has magic, and probably a lack of prejudice against people from my country, so my studies wouldn't be frowned upon.
[ the rambling is oddly cute as well, if he's honest. it wouldn't be quite as easy as luca is making it out be -- magic would be different compared to what he knows, but there's a wealth of other things to study. immediately, hanneman comes to mind with his crest studies and that same enthusiasm for drive for knowledge.
there are places and ways he could fit in.
but for the moment, here and now when he considers it... maybe he doesn't mind. luca has a right to go wherever he wants and he said he didn't plan to go to his original world anyway.
-- but he is starting to ramble a bit too much so. yuri just yanks him the rest of the way down into a kiss. ]
[Oh good, breaking his train of thought with a kiss is the best way to stop him from overstating whatever point he's trying to get at. He's startled at first, but a moment later he's easing into the kiss, sighing contentedly has he kisses Yuri back.
He'll take that as a 'yes' unless Yuri tells him differently.]
[Maybe the real wishes were the friends they made along the way!]
...you're not the only one who would change their wish now, you know. It's funny, isn't it? Sometimes you don't find what you went looking for, but rather what you needed instead.
Maybe. Or maybe I wouldn't need a wish at all. If it came down to it, I can just... make things work on my own. It'll take longer, but if the wish is something this place is offering then I'm not sure I want it anymore.
[ it's not too different. realisation that maybe you didn't need what you thought you did. ]
I wonder how many of us have been forced to really think about what we want and if it's worth it, or even what we really want anymore.
Maybe that's the good outcome here. That everyone finds another answer besides wishing for what they wanted.
[This is a group of fleas, there are definitely some people who are not going to reach that conclusion.]
My wish was for a license to legally practice Sfeer Theory. But you know, I think just having that license won't actually fix what's wrong with my life. I would be unhappy, even if I was working my dream job. So...I suppose everything that happened here had some worth, because it helped me realize that.
[And he met Yuri and had an actual doki, but he is in no way ready to profess feelings like that yet. Let's start with "I want to stay by you," that's fine.]
[ he tilts his head. ] Like putting a tiny bit of gauze over a gaping wound. It might cover up the issue, but it sort things out permanently. [ it could even make it worse. ]
If the place you were stuck in is somewhere that doesn't accept you, you probably weren't going to hear anything different. [ those who don't fit the norm will be forced into it, told they're wrong, that sort of thing. academics usually like their opinions to be challenged for this kind of reason -- they'll just parrot the same view, otherwise. ] You have more of an idea now of what will help?
[ probably a good start. they'd both be scuttling for the hills if they moved too fast, let's be honest. ]
Part of the problem is that I let my family decide everything for me. Who I married, where lived. Hell, even my job was technically picked out by my brother-in-law. Starting somewhere fresh, where I make my own decisions without the influence of family, that might help.
...it's kinder too, I think. For Carmen and Giovanni. They'll have an easier time of things if I just 'disappear without a trace'. A widow with a young son would get far more consideration than a divorcee. They don't have to know that I'm not technically dead, it wouldn't matter as far as that world goes.
... You won't miss having any contact with your son?
[ he's not going to say "and wife" because he knows that lore.
he can't relate to any of that -- no one guided his life, and maybe that's a good thing, because he is who he is now because of it. but maybe that's a bad thing to, but sometimes you're young and you choose to take the weight of supporting yourself and what you love on your shoulders in any way possible. ]
There's a lot of that in Fodlan too, you know. People having their lives decided for them. Remember, I said it's not some sort of perfect paradise in comparison to your world.
[And there's the touch question, one that makes Luca's prior determination falter. He looks away from Yuri, casting his gaze out over the water.[
Of course I will, he's the one person I'll miss. But.
[How does he explain.]
I haven't seen him since he was four. I barely saw him before that too. I doubt he even remembers me at this point.
I know his other relatives will take good care of him. His uncle will make sure he grows up into a fine, respectable man. His mother will make sure he gets a good education. They have more to offer him than I ever possibly could.
Perhaps I'm a coward, for wanting to run away from it all. Even to run away to a world with the same problems as mine. But even so, it's what I want to do. It's better for everyone in my world if I just disappear from it, and if I were to accompany anyone here back to their world it would be you.
...or possibly Lust, but I think she might tire of me being a busybody.
She'd have to teach you all about the internet, and after teaching me about it she might want to cry.
[ ... ]
Better to think of it as less... it's better for your world, and more what's better for you. If that's what you want to do. [ is this a similar sort of thing to him with his mother? he hasn't seen her in a long time, but he's not sure he could just leave her. maybe he's just more selfish. ]
[ luca not allowed to adopt garreg mach animals, not that he'd want to. ]
That's probably the first thing you need to focus on -- improving your life for you, not someone else. It might be a bit upheaved for a while, but if that's where you want to be then I don't have any problem with it.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-04-03 12:53 pm (UTC)Not especially. Not really. I do have my abundance of charm though, there's that. [ mmmmm self hate. ]
Ah, right. Sand... everywhere. And you can't just magic it away by switching off the room. But it's still nice.
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Date: 2021-04-03 02:57 pm (UTC)"Not really?" Don't tell me you are completely unaware of all of your good qualities!
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Date: 2021-04-03 03:03 pm (UTC)I'm aware of the all the qualities I have that people shouldn't be supporting, or wishing they had.
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Date: 2021-04-03 03:09 pm (UTC)Do you think I would be standing right here, right now, if there wasn't something to you beyond your looks? Because I assure you, there are plenty of attractive men here. And while I know I appear to be shallow at first, I'm not only swayed by looks.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-03 03:42 pm (UTC)miimusic.mp3, sir. ]
I know you're not shallow, Luca. But my flaws are, well. Pretty big. [ like contract murder big. trying to explain how big of a surprise it's been that people want to stick around once they've got something from him has been difficult here, especially when his reasoning keeps getting shot down like this. ]
... [ ... but, alright then. after a moment he reaches up and hooks a finger into luca's collar, giving him a tug down. ] But you are here, aren't you.
[ even after ... well. dying. ]
1/3
Date: 2021-04-03 04:09 pm (UTC)[Because Luca has a lot of flaws too. A loooot of flaws. Big, glaring flaws that might cause a lot of trouble for him and those around him in the near future. But in the name of being fair, he's not going to bring them up right now. He wants Yuri to think positively, so he'll think positively about himself too.]
2/3
Date: 2021-04-03 04:13 pm (UTC)For a moment, he hesitates. That dread, that sinking fear, it's creeping back in. The reservations that have always held him back before, they're whispering in his ear now.
It's safer to hold back, it's better to not stand out. If others have already decided what they want you to do, then it's better to just go along with that, isn't it? After all, it's better to keep your wants buried deep inside of your chest than it is to shout them out and be ignored. Living to the expectations of others means never having to put yourself out there and take that risk.
And in that moment, he hesitates, torn between risk and comfort.]
3/3
Date: 2021-04-03 04:18 pm (UTC)I might as well stay here, I think. 'Here' being 'right next to you' specifically, wherever you may travel. I never intended to go back to my world anyway if I had the choice, and it looks like you need frequent reminders of just what kind of man you are.
[He's trying to play it cool, but he's a nervous wreck inside. Which quickly becomes evident because, as usual, he just doesn't shut up.]
I won't take up too many resources, I swear it. I do complain about how uncomfortable things are sometimes, but I'll behave. It wouldn't do good to leave a poor impression on your allies, after all. And your world has magic, and probably a lack of prejudice against people from my country, so my studies wouldn't be frowned upon.
Yes, I do think this is a good idea.
[Stop him before he keeps rambling.]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-03 04:45 pm (UTC)there are places and ways he could fit in.
but for the moment, here and now when he considers it... maybe he doesn't mind. luca has a right to go wherever he wants and he said he didn't plan to go to his original world anyway.
-- but he is starting to ramble a bit too much so. yuri just yanks him the rest of the way down into a kiss. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-03 04:58 pm (UTC)He'll take that as a 'yes' unless Yuri tells him differently.]
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Date: 2021-04-03 05:14 pm (UTC)My world is still in the middle of a war, in case you forgot. Garreg Mach is fairly safe, but I can't guarantee anything.
[ ... including if he'll live through the war itself, but... y'know. ] But depending on what happens here that could change.
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Date: 2021-04-03 05:32 pm (UTC)All the more reason to have a helping hand, no? If nothing else, I can help keep you safe.
[He's not a physical fighter, just a magical one.]
And all the more reason to try and achieve your wish here, hmm?
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Date: 2021-04-03 06:55 pm (UTC)[ he's messing with luca's hair again because his PERMIT and also the prehensile hair is pretty fun, honestly. ]
Ending the war outright might be a better wish now either way, than just focusing on keeping Abyss safe.
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Date: 2021-04-03 09:43 pm (UTC)...you're not the only one who would change their wish now, you know. It's funny, isn't it? Sometimes you don't find what you went looking for, but rather what you needed instead.
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Date: 2021-04-03 10:03 pm (UTC)Maybe. Or maybe I wouldn't need a wish at all. If it came down to it, I can just... make things work on my own. It'll take longer, but if the wish is something this place is offering then I'm not sure I want it anymore.
[ it's not too different. realisation that maybe you didn't need what you thought you did. ]
I wonder how many of us have been forced to really think about what we want and if it's worth it, or even what we really want anymore.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-03 10:13 pm (UTC)[This is a group of fleas, there are definitely some people who are not going to reach that conclusion.]
My wish was for a license to legally practice Sfeer Theory. But you know, I think just having that license won't actually fix what's wrong with my life. I would be unhappy, even if I was working my dream job. So...I suppose everything that happened here had some worth, because it helped me realize that.
[And he met Yuri and had an actual doki, but he is in no way ready to profess feelings like that yet. Let's start with "I want to stay by you," that's fine.]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-03 10:35 pm (UTC)...
[ he tilts his head. ] Like putting a tiny bit of gauze over a gaping wound. It might cover up the issue, but it sort things out permanently. [ it could even make it worse. ]
If the place you were stuck in is somewhere that doesn't accept you, you probably weren't going to hear anything different. [ those who don't fit the norm will be forced into it, told they're wrong, that sort of thing. academics usually like their opinions to be challenged for this kind of reason -- they'll just parrot the same view, otherwise. ] You have more of an idea now of what will help?
[ probably a good start. they'd both be scuttling for the hills if they moved too fast, let's be honest. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-03 11:44 pm (UTC)...it's kinder too, I think. For Carmen and Giovanni. They'll have an easier time of things if I just 'disappear without a trace'. A widow with a young son would get far more consideration than a divorcee. They don't have to know that I'm not technically dead, it wouldn't matter as far as that world goes.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 12:08 am (UTC)[ he's not going to say "and wife" because he knows that lore.
he can't relate to any of that -- no one guided his life, and maybe that's a good thing, because he is who he is now because of it. but maybe that's a bad thing to, but sometimes you're young and you choose to take the weight of supporting yourself and what you love on your shoulders in any way possible. ]
There's a lot of that in Fodlan too, you know. People having their lives decided for them. Remember, I said it's not some sort of perfect paradise in comparison to your world.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 12:27 am (UTC)Of course I will, he's the one person I'll miss. But.
[How does he explain.]
I haven't seen him since he was four. I barely saw him before that too. I doubt he even remembers me at this point.
I know his other relatives will take good care of him. His uncle will make sure he grows up into a fine, respectable man. His mother will make sure he gets a good education. They have more to offer him than I ever possibly could.
Perhaps I'm a coward, for wanting to run away from it all. Even to run away to a world with the same problems as mine. But even so, it's what I want to do. It's better for everyone in my world if I just disappear from it, and if I were to accompany anyone here back to their world it would be you.
...or possibly Lust, but I think she might tire of me being a busybody.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 01:08 am (UTC)[ ... ]
Better to think of it as less... it's better for your world, and more what's better for you. If that's what you want to do. [ is this a similar sort of thing to him with his mother? he hasn't seen her in a long time, but he's not sure he could just leave her. maybe he's just more selfish. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 01:24 am (UTC)Mmm, I think you're right. I would rather see it as a better life for me.
...if you'll have me, that is.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 02:00 am (UTC)That's probably the first thing you need to focus on -- improving your life for you, not someone else. It might be a bit upheaved for a while, but if that's where you want to be then I don't have any problem with it.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 02:02 am (UTC)[Having a non-stressed Yuri benefits him too.]
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Date: 2021-04-04 02:10 am (UTC)[ ... ] But anything towards improving things once it’s over wouldn’t be turned away, I’m sure.
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